Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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