i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
