she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize