I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
