singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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