I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
