In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
FUCK WHALES
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
