you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize