She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
