Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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