kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I stole a fireplace last night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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