My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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