i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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