I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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