It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
