She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize