i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I am morally bankrupt
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize