Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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