I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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