lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize