fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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