did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
