Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
