There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
