I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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