She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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