Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
