Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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