i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
