Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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