it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
These tits shall not be calmed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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