This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
