he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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