so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
