You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
