i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
