Yo dont text me then not text me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
