Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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