The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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