can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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