Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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