Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
