In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
