The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
