you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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