he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
