After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom