just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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