end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Randomize
