at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm lost and stupid without you.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
