Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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