My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
