Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
