On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
