Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
