I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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