do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
