What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
