not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
