So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
